NVC: a way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart

If someone asked me what competencies a community manager should invest in, I would say without hesitation: facilitation and non-violence communication (NVC)!

I’ve already written a bit about facilitation, and I encourage you to take a look at another post if you’d like to learn more. In this post, I would like to focus on the other one.

NVC — is another acronym that has become popular recently. What does it mean? And is it worth exploring this method of communication?

I first heard about empathic communication in 2016. I was in the middle of my second maternity leave. I devoured Marshall Rosenberg’s book, completed a short introduction NVC course, and the language of the jackal and the giraffe started to accompany me on a daily basis (I’m not sure which more often, but at least I was aware of their existence). At that time I didn’t know yet that there would come a time when empathy and compassion would be one of the most important elements of my work.

But let’s start in the beginning;) What is NVC?

It’s a method of communication based on the ability to speak and listen — and its tenets are to prevent conflict and facilitate communication.
The basis of nonviolent communication is the honest expression of one’s feelings and needs and the empathetic reception of what others are trying to convey to us.

To better illustrate the difference between traditional communication and non-violent communication, Rosenberg used the metaphor of jackal and giraffe language. Why these animals?

The jackal is a predator. It symbolizes fighting, and communication based on the principle: “who is right?”. The fight for being right always leads to the emergence of a winner and a loser.

The giraffe, on the other hand, is an animal with a big heart. Literally! The giraffe’s long neck makes the pressure difference between its feet and head. So in order for the blood to reach the giraffe’s brain, a really strong heart is needed. It is interesting to note that the heart of the giraffe can reach a weight of up to 25 kg and measure as much as 60 cm thick. Endowed with such a huge heart, the giraffe is a symbol of the language of the heart — communication oriented on needs and feelings.

So why NVC is important for community managers?

First of all positive communication is essential for creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for community members. NVC principles encourage community managers to communicate in a way that is empathetic, non-judgmental, and focused on understanding each other’s needs. By creating a space where individuals feel safe to express themselves, community managers can foster open and honest communication patterns and enhance understanding among community members.

Another reason? The ability to resolve conflicts peacefully.
Conflicts are inevitable in any community setting. NVC provides a framework for conflict resolution that focuses on understanding the underlying needs and feelings of individuals involved. Community managers who incorporate NVC principles can mediate conflicts, encourage active listening, and guide community members toward finding mutually satisfactory solutions. This approach reduces hostility, encourages empathy, and promotes reconciliation.

Relationships. Relationships. Relationships.
NVC principles encourage empathy and understanding, which are vital for building stronger relationships within a community. NVC can create a sense of trust, respect, and support among community members. By valuing everyone’s needs and facilitating empathetic connections, they cultivate a sense of belonging and foster a cohesive community.

NVC empowers community managers to create a space where individuals feel heard, valued, and connected, ultimately leading to a more engaged and harmonious community. And yes! I think it is a skill worth focusing on.